Last night was the worst night of my human existence.  To put it mildly.

The past several nights I have slept like crap due to what I assumed was just new-climate allergies or a mild cold.  Whatever the cause, I was tossing and turning each night for about 3 nights.  Last night confirmed what all the other nights were leading up to and what I will have confirmed by a certified physician in about 45 minutes: I think I have a sinus infection.
Not one to be melodramatic about things, I’ll shoot you straight. I thought my effing cheekbones were conspiring against me in a competition to see which one could detach itself from my face the fastest.  My forehead caught wind of the friendly competition and joined in, creating a trifecta of misery in my facial cavity.

Add to that waking up (from a 30 minute NAP at 3 am because, let’s be real, there wasn’t a WHOLE lot of sleeping going on between writhing and crying and waking Mr. Aerobat up to be miserable right along with me because WHAT IS MARRIAGE FOR IF NOT TO SHARE YOUR MISERY WITH YOUR HEALTHY SPOUSE!? But I digress) with a cold and slimy body, because what is a good illness without a sweat-caking fever to boot?? And hoooo boy, it was the most action our marriage bed has seen EVER!

Ever heard the joke “Does your face hurt, CAUSE IT’S KILLING ME!”? Well… I give you carte blanche to make face-killing comments to this post. In fact, consider that a challenge. Who can come up with the best face-killing joke, because I could use a laugh right about now!

*Please note: Do not, ever, under any circumstances (even while trying to find the perfect picture for your blog to truly emphasize your point) google the phrase “face exploding” in the images category. That’s free advice, but worth so, so much.*