And no, on this one occasion, I am not talking about my hair complex. I’m talking about my apartment complex. Here is a list of all the reasons that I am counting down the days until we are no longer residents of an apartment community:

1. I’m all about dogs and everything, but those that howl and snap at my sweet Lola when I go to get the mail can be eliminated.

2. Speaking of the mail, I would rather not strike up a conversation about your shattered cheekbone while I’m trying to mentally tally my bills that I just plucked from my mail slot, sir.  And even though I’m sure it was an impressive story of testosterone and fury in the form of a bar fight over a bleached out, fake-tittied has-been, I’m not going to ask you to elaborate.  Oh, and thanks for saying you like my wiener. That’s such a hot pick up line around these parts.  Also, when you ask me which apartment I live in and I say that my HUSBAND (bold, capital, italicized and underlined!) and I live in THAT GENERAL VICINITY OVER THERE (while I wave my arms 360 degrees around my body), that would be your hint to back off.  I will blame your ignorance on the fact that you quite possibly have shards of your cheekbone wedged into your cerebral cortex, which if I am not horribly mistaken, is a critical piece of tissue  necessary for THINKING!

3.  DJ Casanova. Uh, yeah. That’s my neighbor. And he apparently LOVES to act like his pimped out Jeep is a turntable at around 2 am when he rolls in from hustlin’ hoes up in da club.

4. Smokers.  This time of year in Arizona, we are finally able to open our windows, turn off the A/C and breathe some fresh air.  Which means it’s finally cool enough for the smokers to congregate outside and suck ’em down in the comfort of a 70 degree day. So here I am trying to breathe MY air in MY office through MY open window and what do I breathe in except YOUR second hand smoke which has so thoughtfully wafted up from your smoking perch just below.  And now my office smells like smoke, and you KNOW that smell lingers. It’s no wonder you’re single and have to hang out by the mailbox to get someone to talk to you.

5. Work orders.  When the garage door is broken and I put in a work order for it to be fixed, I expect that to happen in a timely manner. Especially when the maintenance garage is literally 10 feet from my office window and it is often THEIR smoke that I am so lucky to inhale throughout the day.  What I DON’T expect is to wait 3 months and then finally abandon all hope that I will ever be able to use the number pad to access our garage again.

6.  Space. Rather, lack of space.

7.  Sound carries throughout the whole place.  For instance, when my Black Hawk of a washing machine takes off, it is as if I am actually camping out on a helipad, no matter where in the apartment I am stationed, because sound barriers? WHAT ARE THOSE!? Good thing I don’t have any shame whilst singing Gaga all day long at the top of my lungs.  Or Glee tunes. Or All I Want for Christmas is You.

I could go on, but I know I’m whining, and if you could see how cute and cozy my apartment is, you all would smack me upside the petty head.  And the reason I’m whining? Because since my birthday, all I’ve been able to think about what this.

And how on Thursday, our names will be on the title. SQUEE!!!

Today is my Mudder’s birfday.  HAPPY BIRFDAY MUDDERRRRR!!!!!

Isn’t she so cute in this picture???? Tan, happy, toned…. she is everything I hope I am when I’m her age… 29. Duh.

She’s my boss, my mom and my bff, for sure.

I love you so much, Mom. Happy 29th. Again.

Wanna know the perfect combination of things to turn a crummy day around?

It involves a good husband walking in the door at 6:30 with a bouquet of blue hydrangeas and an ice cold Diet Coke in his arms.

He is, indeed, the best.

Last weekend we took a highly anticipated and very awesome trip to Sedona, courtesy of our west-coast family (Aerobat’s web-savvy brother, his business partner and sweet wife, and very adorable bebe).  We love Sedona for how awesome, natural and beautiful it us, but it holds an extra special place in our hearts because it is where we took our first plane date EVER!  Go ahead: Awwww.

Anywhodeehoddie, we were in Sedona from Saturday to early Monday morning, and we stayed in a treetop overlook of a super quaint, lodgey resort right on the creek.  Among the many awesome things we experienced while we were there, I would have to say the super starry, black sky was amazing, and to have that loud creek right out our window made sleeping with the windows open a rare treat. Until we woke up with icicles growing out our noses, at which point the gas fireplace came in very handy and was another VERY welcomed treat.

Among some of our activities while we were there was a Pink Jeep tour which I still have bruises across my lap from.  Not kidding. I would show you, but skin pictures of laps border on inappropriate, and I’m sorry, you’re just going to have to take my word for it. To say the ride was awesome is a gross understatement.  I tried taking video in some of the more intense climbs, but they are so nauseating I’m afraid I will lose all of my readers (or at the very least, all of my readers will lose their lunches) if I post it. Again, you’ll need to take my word for it.

Check out some of the amazing scenery we got to take in, though. I swear I can smell the mountain air just looking at the pictures.

Thank you so much Max & Shannon… we had an awesome time!

I am occasionally (read: always) late to the fashion party.  I resisted leggings when they first came out on the covers of People Magazine saying, “Ugh, passing fad… give it a few months”.  Did the same with skinny jeans saying “HIDEOUS! Not even coked-out LindsLo can pull off skin tight denim”.  And lo, I am a skinny jeans wearing sell-out today.

My name is Coco, and I wear skinny jeans. And leggings. Please pass the tissues, and here is my hand for slapping.

About two days ago, I started thinking about how it’s about time I own a “Boyfriend jacket”.  It has, after all, been in style for over 18 months now, meaning it’s about time I can join in the fad. It’s probably on it’s way out, which REALLY means I’m on track.  Anyway, I found one yesterday for a whopping $29 at Target, and that is how I roll, y’all.  Go cheap on the fads, splurge on the classics. Learn it, live by it.

Here it is in all its boyfriendy glory.

Let me just disclose that this photo is ugly.  It looks way cuter unbuttoned and with the sleeves slightly rolled up to show off the lining.  Maybe I’ll do a Polyvore day and show you a real outfit.  Although, I just realized I’m blogging about a boyfriend jacket and I have yet to adequately blog about my last two VERY eventful weekends, so the chances of a Polyvore post are slim to none.  Heh. Oh well!

Get your uber-cheap boyfriend jacket right here. And you’re welcome, as always🙂

Um, excuse me, can we please discuss the awesomeness of this espresso machine?

My kitchen…. it longs for this appliance.

My heart can’t keep beating without it.

My wallet can’t afford it.  Aerobat??? Hint hint🙂

Buy it here.

Last weekend, as previously mentioned, was my birthday, and in true Awesome-Parent form, my folks flew out from Indiana to join The Aerobat and I in the Wild Wild West for some gun-shootin’, cow-wranglin’ fun.  OK, really we shot no guns and wrangled no cows, but we had a good time nonetheless doing some decently Arizonan activities.

Quick back story on the awesomeness of my parents when it comes to birthdays:  I have spent more birthdays away from home than at home.  Since I was a little pup, my birthday has always fallen near the end of October (and it’s never changed, can you imagine that?) which means, FALL BREAK! Until you’re done with all your schooling and then all of a sudden, EVERY DAY IS VACATION, WOOOOOO!!!! But allllllllll those years of trying to build my brain into something worth all the money they spent on my education yielded birthdays that fell smack dab in the middle of a vacation.  When I was a baby, I am told I had a very tantrum-y birthday in Disney World (one that my embarrassed grandparents will never let me forget…. “Remember that one time in Disney when you THREW YOURSELF ONTO THE DIRTY GROUND IN EPCOT, SLAMMING YOUR GIANT-SUCKER-CLUTCHING HANDS INTO THE GROUND SCREAMING LIKE A HOOLIGAN? Yeah, that was fun. We had to go to Germany to get a beer or twelve to deal with your toddler-psychosis.”).  I have spent many-a-birthday at our family home in Fort Myers, Florida, too.  One year I was even studying abroad in Rome, and those awesome parents of mine? They crossed the Atlantic to watch me blow out 20 candles. So, this year was no different that they trekked far and wide to celebrate with their second-born child. And as our birthdays get less “Birthdayish” because we are getting old and developing varicose veins in our ankles, it’s great to know that parents are still around to make you feel uber-special.

Mom and Dad arrived Thursday and from the moment they arrived until the moment they departed I had them bustling their butts all over the Greater Phoenix area like nobody’s business.  For someone who has only lived here 2ish months, I make quite a tour guide, thankyouverymuch.  They got me an awesome Nike outfit which will appear in 99% of the photos you see below (I’m the one that looks like the cousin to a tennis ball) and I haven’t taken it off since.  They also were super awesome and put Stockton and I up for a night in their hotel (Lola too!) which was especially fun when Lola escaped into the open-air hallway and ran from us with an attitude of “Try and catch me now, Bitches – Caged bird gotsta FLY!” Then? THEN I got to stand on said open-air walkway in my bikini (which, yikes… let’s just say I’m not staying fit for any upcoming nuptials anymore) holding a very naughty long dog while pool-goers stared.

We hiked, ate, hiked again, saw some nasty wildlife, ate lots more, drank some mai-tais, hot-tubbed, drove far and wide, got lost and ran out of gas (almost – you’re a luck man, Aerobat), and had a bomb time.  Here are some photos for your viewing pleasure, and Mom and Dad? Thanks for the awesome birthday gift – your presence was my present🙂

OH OH OH! And remember this?? This is what The Aerobat gave me for my birthday!! (In addition to one other really huge gift that I can’t talk about yet, no I’m not pregnant.)  He’s the awesomest. I need to blog about stuff I want more often!

I am still crafting my post from my weekend with my parents (which, by the way, happened to be my birthday weekend, yahoo!), but will have it posted shortly complete with photos of very hairy, 8-legged freak spiders. I KNOW I CAN’T WAIT, EITHER!!!

In the meantime, I should brag about how awesome I am at Christmas shopping.  I have finished 90% of my shopping, and am feeling, well, rather smug, quite frankly.  I love Christmas, and I love gift giving which makes this holiday akin to crack cocaine for me.  Except that it’s a Christian holiday, and I’m a Christian, and NO I’ve never done crack… I just bet Christmas would be better than crack, that’s all.  Perhaps it’s no coincidence that Santa says Ho Ho Ho… he’s a jolly pimp that’s flat out stoned on Christmas.  Thoughts?

While perusing the web for Christmas gifts that I can’t find in stores (because I am a MAJOR supporter of shopping locally, and if you aren’t shopping locally, at least shop in-stores and not online. This post is me breaking my own rules) I stumbled upon this line: Echo.  You may have seen it before, and I actually first found the line while shopping in the Nordstrom accessories department for scarves and gloves because I was in denial that it was 100 degrees out in October, and I found a pair of gloves that have touch sensors on the finger and thumb so you can use your gloved hands to use your iPhone. BRILLIANT!  In an attempt to find more colors/styles, I checked out their website, and it is all kinda of delightful goodness!!! Here are a few pictures of my favorite items.

The gloves that started it all

Isn’t it all so yummy??? Especially the home decor stuff – who knew!? So go buy some stuff!!

This weekend, I am beyond ecstatic to announce that my parents will be visiting the Aerobat and I in our humble little crack-in-the-concrete apartment in Scottsdale.  SQUEE!!!!! I really just said that out loud. That is how excited I am.

I have an apartment to clean, a meal to prepare and sleep to get, but I wanted to let you all know that this weekend (for me at least, I don’t know about y’all’s plans) is going to kick some major southwestern ass. If only my husband will let us go on a Wild Wild West tour involving horses and cowboy hats… And {maybe if we’re lucky} some Native Americans dressed in feathers and animal skins. Just sayin’.

Well, my weekend started a little something like this:

The Aerobat and I are house shopping (in case you didn’t already know) and this week, I found one that I really liked. It needed work. It needed love.  It would be laborious.  But it had fantastic potential. And a POOL!! With a sliiddee! WHEEEEE!

7 am: Email from dear friend and realtor informing us that the house practically sold overnight. Offer on the table, ta ta, so long, no house for us.

7:01 am: Email from not such a dear friend, but a shop owner who carries my things (and dude, she has been a pain in the ass since day one) complaining that she received her latest shipment of merchandise and was “Very disappointed in the shipment – the products were COVERED in little threads and the blankets weren’t as soft as I thought they would be”.  Um.  First issue, my blankets are what they are and I never mislead anyone to believe they are made of chennille.  They are made of flannel because it is an excellent swaddling material. They are cute because they have cotton on the other side.  Flannel will soften as it is laundered (as EVERY EFFING MATERIAL WILL) and I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH YOUR BULLSHIT!  OK, but really… the second issue that brought me to tears just out of sheer frustration is the fact that I am busting my ass to run a business out of a 10×10 room which also houses all of The Aerobat’s flying gear, our computers,  a big, honkin desk, and usually a pesky long dog who likes to eat and pee on merchandise.  That makes it really REALLY difficult to ensure that not a single thread finds its way to the final product. And y’all, if you order from me and find threads on the products? I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry. I’m sorry that every textile object in my apartment is covered in thread too, but y’know what? That is why God created lint rollers.

7:02 am: Lola eats her shit.

 

Happy weekend.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 6 other followers

Archives

August 2016
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.